the condom got lost in my hair
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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