Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
