We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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