so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize