were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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