I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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