Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize