i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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