She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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