I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
