Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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