Where is the hickey?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
