how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
