the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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