Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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