p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
