Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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