So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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