I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm always down for nudity.
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