whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Randomize
