my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize