If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
