ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
