They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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