Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
