I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
honey bunches of taint.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
