For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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