Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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