Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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