planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
