you mean i was at the winter classic?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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