On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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