I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
