Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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