I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
