Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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