i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
