Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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