my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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