it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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