I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
