im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize