Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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