Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
