I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm too high and old for this...
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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