PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize