Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
