apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
