I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
