I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
