I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
