Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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