Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
