why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
