take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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