Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
