wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
