just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
