He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
my poor anus
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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