I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
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