yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I deserve this hangover.
Randomize
