I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
