There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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