You smell like stripper and shame
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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