i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
