Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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