Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
