im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
