she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
