But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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