If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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