are you still at the devil's house?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
