Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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