babies were throwing up all over the place
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
