This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I will pee on everything he values.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
