Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
