Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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