Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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