i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
