Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize