its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My vagina is very pro this idea
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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