I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Drake has all the answers
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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