There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
