I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
