Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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