I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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