I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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