the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize