well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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